Why your therapist is not your friend

Updated May 16, 2014.

Written and reviewed by a Board Certified physician. See the Medical Review Board About.com.

People often develop a close relationship with your therapist. They were talking in a room sitting on very personal questions, often with some frequency over time. Do you have friends? Some people certainly hope he does, but the therapist usually do not see it that way.

Psychotherapy is an asymmetric relationship. The client opens and therapist usually not. This is necessary to focus on customer problems exclusively. How can we support the development of a relationship of this kind on one side? Since the therapist does not reveal nearly as much to see the customers, we hope to come, the therapist as listener-term care, which the assistance will be customers out their problems - not a therapist.

Friendship also inherently two sides. In most relationships, gradually we opened opens the other person. As his friend, I know many things about you, and you know a lot about me. Parts we often sits on experiences in a room, talking.

Therapy may be "friendly" relationship definitely one, depending on the personalities involved and the theoretical orientation of the therapist. Historically, some psychoanalytic psychotherapists oriented careful that no aspect of themselves to reveal their patients to believe that it is unnecessary, the reactions (or bank transfer) affect the patient and the therapist. Most contemporary psychoanalysts and therapists recognize, however, that they still revealed aspects of herself, and that the goal of the therapist is not to hide his personality, but about the kind of relationship that any discussion and exploration permits all support reactions, taking place between therapist and patient.

Your therapist will probably not be your friend, because it will create a "dual relationship." Marriage relationships occur when people in two very different relationships at the same time. Lot of dual relationships are unethical in therapy. For example, it is unethical to handle a psychologist with a close friend or relative. It is also unethical for a psychologist to have a sexual relationship with a customer.

One difficulty with dual relationships this is a problem in a report (such as friendship or sex) can cause problems in another context lead (the therapeutic relationship). If you are angry because I did not attend his party on me, it will be difficult for you to open in therapy. Besides being a dual relationship, sexual relationships with customers use the power inherent in the one-sidedness of the therapeutic relationship. These relationships are unethical for several reasons.

A friendship can develop after therapy? Although not common, it can happen. But the ethical guidelines disapprove, for various reasons, including the idea that the transfer of aspects of the relationship, and established asymmetric power gap in therapy, never completely disappear.

If you are in therapy still expect your therapist, someone who will be easy to talk to. If he or she is friendly, it can be an added advantage. But remember that the treatment is not the same as a friendship. Through the use of personal and professional relationships that developed in the therapy, you will be better able to make the changes you want to make in your life.