Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist and founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples, has three key factors, the relations have to be really healthy place. It is observed that when couples competing with each other, and a cook blood of these types of arguments, it is not really about the food, garbage, or even money, as many couples think it is. If connections are not secure and partners feel of each other, any type of content allows an exhibition fight. This content is not what the fight goes. What we really discuss the central question is "are you there for me?"
Partner "Are you there for me?" Ask the other
Johnson offers its members a roadmap for maintaining relationships with EFT to help answer the question: "Are you there for me" yes. Identified three factors that can answer to this central question is "yes" must be present, and is easy to remember acronyms are the key factors are in healthy relationships. Accessibility, responsiveness and emotional commitment If you want to improve your relationship, start focusing on increasing these properties should be set.
Accessibility
The first important ingredient in healthy relationships is accessibility. People have the feeling that your partner is open to it, and his companion must be accessible. To increase the accessibility in your relationship, pay attention to your partner and sensitive to the fact that it seems you are trying to reach you. It can often be difficult to extend an olive branch in times of separation, so that your partner might try to come to a fight, but in a kind of gentle way. Try to be open to that. It is also important available to all be heard. Very often people just want to be heard only by her partner, and budding empathy, but which are not desired solution. You can increase your access you hear and confirm your partner how you feel. It always feels good to be validated.
Reactivity
The second important ingredient in healthy relationships is responsiveness. This may, of course, but I'll say it anyway. If your partner comes to you, respond. If it really is not available because you do something else to let them know, and assure you that your concerns are important to you. Find a time when you can come to discuss the matter and this commitment. When partners begin to freeze each other and do not fit each other, open their relationship to a variety of potential problems. Instead, stay connected to the defendant.
Emotional commitment
The third important ingredient in healthy relationships is an emotional commitment. The emotions were not always well understood, but further research to a better understanding of them leads. Johnson says that love is really an emotional connection more than anything else, and research in neuroscience, psychology and biology seems to support this assertion, as in his book love shown Sense: The revolutionary new science of romantic relationships is why. It is vital that the partners have emotional bonds with others. Not only is it important that you take the emotional experience of the partner and curious, but also let them know. The partners are emotionally together, committed to their relationship.
The next time you get in one of the battles of boiling blood with your partner to stop, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what you really fight. Chances are that both are struggling to see if you how much you have for each other and truly to another. Increase accessibility, responsiveness and emotional attachment to each other, and the fights start easier to overcome because it is really going on, just in the kitchen, garbage, and of course to be money.
To find an emotionally focused therapists in your area, the International Centre of Excellence in EFT has a list of therapists in the city, state and country.
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